Being the “big girl” in the room is never fun.

Starting in middle school and even in my first few years of college, I would have this awful, recurring nightmare. In the dream, I would find myself in a classroom with all of my peers. Looking around and down at myself, I noticed that I was always huge in comparison to those around me. The teacher would make us line up at the front of room from fattest to skinniest, calling out our names and forcing us in line. In this nightmare, every single time, I was the fattest person in the class by far, and my classmates would stare, point, and laugh.

Granted, this would never happen in real life. It just wouldn’t. I didn’t go to a school that fat shamed us, and I wasn’t really that big in high school. Although, my level of self-confidence would tell you otherwise.

However, sophomore year of college in one of my Kinesiology classes, we had to do something very similar to what went down in my dream.

Every person in the class had to have their height, weight and BMI taken in the front of the room and then plotted on a chart on the board next to their name. I was mortified that day, because I was the heaviest I had ever been (freshman 15 and sophomore slump can be very, very cruel), and these people were my friends. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t the biggest person in the room, but I was in the top 5, and when I left class that day I cried all the way to my dorm.

I was studying in a field where I would someday work to help people find a healthy lifestyle that suited them. I wanted to help train athletes. But how could I help others, when I wasn’t even capable of helping myself? When I was one of the most unhealthy students in my class? When I didn’t want to look at pictures of myself or in the mirror because I hated what I saw?

I knew I had to make a change.

So, I joined a gym. I found a food tracking app. I bought a Fitbit. I worked my ass off. And I lost eighteen pounds in three months. I was confident, I was happy, I was proud.

But then I moved home for the summer, and I gained it all back. Awesome.

I didn’t have a support system around me that held me accountable and built me up when I was tempted. I didn’t have the tools I needed for a LIFESTYLE CHANGE and not just a weight change. I didn’t have my GOALS laid out and I didn’t have my WHYS in mind. I was focused on weight, not on health. And although the two overlap, there can be a big, mental difference.

Towards the end of the summer, 19 pounds back on my 5’10” frame, a friend messaged me on Facebook. She asked me if I would like to join a Beachbody challenge group that she was coaching and hosting. I was skeptical and did a little research, finding that I really had nothing to lose at all.

So I joined. And for 30 days I had 6 women texting me, messaging me, and posting about their struggles, daily. I had a coach who was a phone call away and always available for me if a Ho-Ho was calling my name (even at 3 am!). And, on top of all this, I started working out and drinking a shake every day for breakfast. I lost 10 pounds in four weeks, and I felt awesome. I was strong, lean, and really happy. Plus, I had new friends who helped keep me accountable and pushed me to becoming a better version of myself.

Here I am now, a new Beachbody Coach and I really want to be that person for you that Liz was for me. I want you to call me at 3 am when you’re tempted. I want to congratulate you after a hard workout when your sweat is dripping in your eyes. I want to hold you accountable and push you to be the best version of yourself you can be.

Life doesn’t stop moving. We grow, we change, we adapt. I want to be around for my future husband, for my kids, and for my grandkids. I don’t want to be sick and dependant on those that I love so much. So, I’m working to better myself for me and for those around me. You can too. Take your health into your own hands.

I promise I’ll be here to help.

Alice